I read a ton of self help books, tried many Todo apps and planning strategies, nothing seems to work. I couldn't create the necessary habits to change my life and become more productive.
This is a real problem, and I'm sure is faced by many people. I realised I'm wasting time and it's costing me a lot. If you could offer a solution that works, I would be happy to pay for it, up to 100$ per month.
Diets can work, but usually if they are intended to address a known specific health issue. Then specific diets, like keto, have a pretty good track record. But merely restricting calories because you want to be thin has a long and well established track record of being the diet version of that smoking joke: "Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it hundreds of times."
Some general principles that sometimes help without fully understanding why:
1. Less is more.
Get rid of extra stuff. Streamline your life. Go for a spartan lifestyle.
2. Try fasting instead of dieting.
It's not well understood why it works, but it seems to often be helpful with a variety of issues.
3. Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
Just getting rid of a lot of junk will move you in this direction, but also: clean your keyboard, try to reduce papers in the home, switch to nontoxic cleaners, etc.
4. Keep a journal.
What gets measured, gets done. A journal is a personal record of your life. It can help you see what is or is not actually changing.
Best of luck.
Don't let your brain become dependant on the quick fix.
2. Keep a journal to drill down into the specific hurdles and drains that prevent you from succeeding. They tend to be a mixture of diffused focus, fuzzy goals, premature goals, scope creep. The diary helps with all of that because it magnifies and clarifies your target.
3. If you want I can do 2 1/2 hour coaching phone calls a month, email my username at gmail. Six Ironmen have honed my know-how with exercise and nutrition while working. I advise family and friends on both. I've also got insights into side projects, since I'm 30 years into a career in tech+startup.
My therapist was government/donation susbsidized and ran $10/hr.
Why did you stop exercising/dieting/working on side projects? Did it not feel good? Or was it because you weren't meeting your goals? What were you trying to achieve?
It's good to take some time to think about whether you should be doing anything to begin with and pivot to stuff you actually feel like doing.
Being a fit dude in your 60s in your big beach-side house partying with powerful friends? A shadowy person behind a powerful corporation? Having a big loving family? Getting rid of poverty in the world?
Take note of it, stick it near where you wake up most of the time: your phone wallpaper! Visualize! Strategize!
You'll realize that it doesn't happen overnight.
DO NOT DESPAIR! Take steps! Build strategy. Separate in milestones, make it accessible. Nothing great is instant (except if you have a great luck)
Use evernote, stackedit, notion, or whatever that doesn't make you lazy and is quick to access. Use Add to Home Screen feature to make a quick shortcut. This allows you to take things off your mind to rest. Make noises that will get you back on track, reminders!
Be calculative, but don't be cheap in pursuing your dream. Money is just another currency to trade toward your dream and there are many other currencies: relationships, mental health, physical accounts receivable, someone owing you something, other people's attention, fame, incognition.
You will need to trade them to achieve your dreams quicker, (e.g. getting rid of an invaluable relationship like toxic people that can't be helped anymore). Trade money for mental health to help with burnouts by treating yourself for every milestone. Trade money for human friends if you need them for your morale. A good thing about human friends are, most of them will give back if you help them.
Try achieving additional miles.
If a milestone doesn't work, DO NOT DESPAIR. It's just another obstacle to work around.
If you feel something is holding you, identify! Sometimes it's trauma in the past, your core values. Check if they're still valid, if not, trash them. In my experience, it is always fear of something in the past and sometimes if you get rid of your ego and see it from other perspectives, the fear is not valid anymore and you can be free of it.
If this comment turned out helping you, trade that 100$/Mo to help others having the same problem to do the same. If it doesn't, I wish you a better luck finding a better way to achieve things, and I would like to hear good news.
1. Have a goal in mind
2. Make it easy for you to start but hard to stop
3. Do a small bit every day
To help with this is the "Don't break the chain" model which is basically getting a calendar and putting a big red X on everyday that you have worked on your goal. They start building up and eventually you don't want to have a gap between the X's.
There is also Atomic Habits by James Clear that I am currently listening to by audio book. It's a different approach but you may have tried it already.
Personally, I find it easier to commit if I know exactly what I'm committing to. So, for example, instead of "go to the gym regularly", try "go to the gym three times a week".
With dieting, small steps can be very helpful. For example, here's a commitment you could make: at least once a week, at the grocery store, buy something healthy that you don't usually eat, and then eat it at one meal.
And don't kick yourself when you find yourself off the wagon, just get back on it.
Good luck!
Or, ignoring technology. Find a personal trainer. Or a really small workout group that has some sort of trainer that really cares.
What has been working for me was a change of perspective, i.e., to accept that life is complicated and there's not enough time in one day to do everything I'd like to do. I now have a new "mantra" which is something in the lines of "any-thing is better than no-thing"..
I too used to read a lot of self-help books, but now they bore me.
I'm still playing catch-up with a lot of things that I should do, but I try to not overload my days. I have daily TODOs with no more than 2/3 things, and each Sunday/Monday morning I go to my weekly TODO lists and split those items through the week days. When I don't finish one thing on one day, I'll move it to the next one, etc. I use evernote for that, but could use a text file as well. I have some liberty in setting my schedule, so I try to do things in the morning and keep my afternoons free for house chores, taking walks, napping, or going somewhere to do something..
One cool thing that got me unstuck regarding things to do, was to sort them by "Easyness x Importancy x Urgency". If you tackle the most easy, important and urgent things first, you'll see things moving faster.. When you're down on motivation, don't listen to those who say that you should do the hard things first, as it requires motivation.
Also, every morning I do 20 abs on bed, then stretch my arms, legs, and do some 20 squats and some 10-15 pushups. It started by being only stretches, then abs, then 5 pushups, slowly moving along. Now it's a routine I have. I have way more energy, my partner agrees..
Also, I have dry eyes, so I started putting some drops, 2-3 times a day, and now I'm seeing way better, less headaches, more things being done.
In summary, it's the small things that add up. Don't try to do too much, too fast, too soon. Accept that life is hard and that our behaviors are hard to change (accepting != conforming).
Look up the Wim Hof breathing method. I don’t know why it works but it does. Maybe it’s all a placebo, but if it works, why does it matter?
The water weight you lose should help motivate. You can easily loose 10 pounds in a month if you count the calories (no exercise necessary). It’s just a pain in the ass. You’ll be hungry 24/7, but you will 100% get the results in a month. Then reduce calories again the second month. It’s just math, it works.
I’ll add that I think the reason people give up on fitness is because they don’t see results. Go hard for 4 weeks on a serious calorie restriction and you will see the results. If that doesn’t motivate you, you’re shit out of luck.
For example,losing weight to be healthy is not a good motivator for most. Losing weight to attract a mate or a job, or perhaps out of fear for an early death is a good motivator.
It's a journey but when you make the journey your destination your experience would revolve around starting and stopping the journey or tracking some milestone as opposed to reaching some end. Of course people with discipline don't suffer from this curse.
Now, you can manufacture one yourself. Or you can wait for life to hand you one.
This might be a good startup idea if you can manage payments and phone calls where people don't have to share their numbers.
If politics isn't a deterrent pick something that is.
Sometimes negative motivation can be a powerful tool.
You struggle to commit yourself to so many things, but waving a 100 dollar bill in the air will serve only to attract opportunists who will happily take that money to offer you ever more distractions and diversions.
A product, service, idea, or mindset that is easily acquired is just as easily discarded.
This works because you will not have a chance to think about it and back out. Eventually, you will get in the habit of working out.
Can you?
Nothing is wrong with you.
You're perfect. Done.
Now, how can you help someone else too? You surely have creative skills, ideas, inspirations. Now, as fighting against yourself is over - unleash your super creative and fun powers!
Does this show up in your professional life?
First step would be therapy and go from there. It could be something showing up in all areas of your life and you just don’t realize it.
Some info out of Google: https://ppc.sas.upenn.edu/
OP, I have such an individual based program since I struggled with these as well and could not find help. The program has been going reasonably well. There is no upfront payment and it is value based. Which means if there is no progress, there is no payment to be made and we do not continue the program.
But it requires the participant to be serious about their goals.
If you want to know more, please share your email and we can see if this is relevant for you or not.
Keep the $100, and invest it in a kettlebell.
Don't write any of this down. Don't try to "quantify your self". Do your best to remember where you are at. If you forget, drop it down 5 - 10 minutes/ 1-3 reps/ etc. below what you think you can do currently (almost like take a few steps backward). We don't want to make a big deal about any of this. We want to be in the habit of examining how you are feeling and adjusting the process based on that; while staying in alignment with our long term goals. Real long terms goals are very hard to pin down to specifics and milestones. You are better of moving consistently toward that goal; while managing your emotional state on a day to day basis. The goal is never more important than how you are feeling right now in this moment.
Have no definitive fitness goals for 1 - 2 years (as this is about how long it takes to get the body to respond permanently to any fitness goals). Don't even think about it; just work out in short spans throughout the day. Progressively add 1 - 2 reps to each exercise every 30 days. After a year, attempt to just go to the gym for 10 minutes once a week. NO MORE THAN 10 MINUTES (even if you really want to stay). After 1 months, add another day to the gym (only 10 minutes each session). After another month, add another day (3 days total at 10 minutes only each day). From 4 months onward, add 5 minutes for every session every 30 days.
For code project, do very small projects you can complete within 30 days easily. Having a habit of completing smaller projects will pay dividends in the long run. Make the projects modular so you can easily reuse things in the future. Only build things YOU are interested. Don't worry about what language, framework, topic is popular or lucrative. Only focus on what you care about in the most selfish way possible.
To sum it all up, don't think about it anymore; just do it. And only do it for 5-10 minutes at the beginning. Follow with a reward. Progressively add more time and effort over the course of months. For the first 3 months, don't stress and move easily. Don't strive for any goal; DON'T MOVE QUICKLY. Just do it with ease. Do it as if you could forget about it in 15 minutes it was so easy. Make sure the process is getting done; and not worry about tangible results. Just make sure you are really getting stuff done in the time you are working; but moving easily, without haste or stress.