I always enjoyed working from home for few hours and having much more spare hours than regular employees who have to sit in work no matter, if they have actual work or no.
But since I don't wanna be potentially replaced by competition I haven't taken vacation in years (that was not problem before since I was not that busy and could rest enough every day to have free morning or afternoon) and I don't won't to refuse any projects to miss on money I can't imagine taking vacation, because I'm not gonna lose only vacation expenses, but also similar amount in lost income for every day I would not work.
Oh and I forgot to mention because of my partner company is in China I can't follow even my European holidays (while living in Europe), meaning I worked even on Christmas, yesterday and today and have only few free days during CNY and October golden week (but none of them actually as long as in China since I get anyway more tasks in advance or some Chinese will give tasks to us even during Chinese holidays).
The best case scenario would be if my partner company decreased amount of projects, since I would be perfectly fine even with half money I earn in exchange for saving half of the work hours without me rejecting anything, but that doesn't seem realistic.
So how would you justify taking unpaid vacation with family under such circumstances? As I see it now I will give family vacation, meaning wife and children can enjoy different place (beach) and I will work from hotel room, possibly finding few free hours in early morning or late afternoon and free weekend.
For me the question is entirely reversed. I have to justify to myself giving up my time for a client or employer. The natural state is for me to fart around, I wasn't put on this planet to commute to a cube.
I do it because it allows me to achieve my goals - things like having fun experiences, donating to charity, helping out family and friends, being a useful human.
If I did it 24/7 then those goals would fade into irrelevance because I'd have no time to pursue any of them.
I had wrote a longer post, but I've edited it, because I think really this is the key take-away. Do you work to live, or live to work?
Sounds like the client sucks if you can't slow down or stop or control anything, dump them or start saying No. If you are going to lose out to the competition by saying No, then it sounds like you aren't providing any real value, you are just cheap labour that is replaceable and are getting paid poorly and incorrectly for it.
The point of being self employed is so you can do whatever you want and own your life. If you get good clients then you can get paid more, they can't afford to lose you or easily switch because of the value you provide and are willing to work with someone who has reasonable human needs. You can take projects without hard fixed deadlines or with vacation time booked in and get paid on the project, not by the hour or even day. If you provide real value, they'll want you back for the next thing.
Normally the typical advice when someone who is self employed has too much work is for them to raise their rates, but this works much better if you have more than one client since that does mean that you still have some clients to fall back on otherwise...
For your specific situation, I'm not sure what to say, apart from advising you to try to get out of this situation by 1) finding other better paying clients and 2) slowly reducing the tasks you do for your current client to the more value added tasks.
Even if you love your work, you don't love it every moment of the day.
Sure, if you're close to a breakthrough invention to cure cancer, or have to race the competition to the first patent, and this urgency is credible and has a likely and credible high-payout in the end, you can crunch for a finite amount of time. But just churning out one project after the other with no end in sight, skipping holidays, makes absolutely no sense.
I'd take a holiday as soon as you can, talk to your company, and also look beyond your company. There's plenty of us making a decent wage without working like a 18th century factory worker that is denied a Christmas holiday. Working for Chinese wages in a country with European costs also makes little sense to me. There are surely other companies available to work for.
There is a hierarchy of ways that you can provide value to a client. I call it the TKPV ladder. Each letter represents what you provide in return for compensation.
T stands for time. At this level, your client pays you by the hour, day, week, or even minute. Your value is measured by the time you put in. This is the lowest rung of the ladder. While you have some control over your allocation of time (as opposed to with an actual job) this is not really much different in principle than working at Walmart or Starbucks. You are a wage slave.
The next step up on the ladder is K, which stands for knowledge. If you can promote your relationship with your clients to this rung, your value becomes the knowledge, experience and ability you bring to the table, which is measured by its value to the company, not by the number of minutes you've slaved at a task.
The next rung on the ladder is P, which stands for product. At this stage, you transition from selling knowledge and talent to selling a specific product or service that wraps up the knowledge and talent that you and your team have acquired into something you can sell to a customer, hopefully without too much customization. And then sell to another customer, and so on. If you reach this stage, you have productized your value in such a way that you can produce and sell it at scale.
The final rung in the ladder is V, for vision. At this level, you take your vision for future products and services to people who are in a position to provide you capital and support to expand and scale your reach to its maximum potential.
In my Consulting business, when I deal with clients, I try to keep this hierarchy, TKPV in mind, with the goal of moving up the ladder at every opportunity.
So I changed my view of life. Now I consider myself on vacation all the time, and work comes second. I work less and get roughly the same amount of money because I plan projects better and select only the ones that pays well.
But my kids are first. For example, it's 11AM here and I am still playing with my daughter and her Xmas duplo set she got. But after dinner I'll work for 4h and be very productive because I am well rested and know exactly what I will do.
The main thing is planning to not be overwhelmed. It takes time and also you should not fear saying no or "it will take six month" to a customer. They are also happier because I am more consistent and regular in my advancements.
Be well, and take care of yourself.
While I know it is that simple to justify, all of us that have been consultants where our money is dependent on our time understand where you are coming from, so you aren't alone in this. Based on your description though it seems like you are scared of your client taking work away, if true, this is a horrible client to have. The best way to solve this issue is to find a new client. I am a little confused though as you also call them a partner company so I am unclear what your relationship is, but either way it sounds unhealthy and you need to change it. Either you need to set new expectations and new boundaries or you need to find a new client and get away from them.
I always set boundaries at the beginning of an engagement, and I would always set the expectation that if a contract was 3 months or longer that a developer would take around 2 weeks of vacation. So even if the dev didn't take time during that contract and did it after or before, the expectation was there so everyone was on the same page. Plus good clients don't want you to burn out because then they lose out on your services too. When you have a client that doesn't respect you and you've allowed them to dominate you it will never end well. You have to set clear boundaries and expectations early on, doing it later is possible but it isn't easy.
Basically, if you don't fix this soon and take a little time, you will fail by burning out which is much harder to overcome at that point, and can take much longer to recover as well. So best to address this now and not wait.
> I would be perfectly fine even with half money I earn
Wut? Either you're willing to work more hours and receive more money, or you're willing to work less hours and receive less money. They're literally mutually exclusive.
You can't genuinely want both things.
If you are making twice as much you should be able to afford a vacation and just do it. If your family is anything like mine they would like to go on a vacation as well.
You may be afraid to lose business, and that could be the case if the partner company is your only source of clients.
I did freelance consulting for a long time, and each time I found myself overwhelmed like you I increased my prices. I did lose some clients, but overall I made more money for doing less work.
There are two very good reasons for it - one is family and the other is my health. No amount of money can replace not being around my wife and child. The other reason is health (both physical and mental). I am of no use to anyone if I am burned out and half crazy. If your current partner company doesn't understand that - GTFO.
Like you, I have way too much to do and not enough time to do it all. But one of the great tools in our arsenals is flexibility. It makes it possible to radically adjust the when, where, what, and how aspects of our jobs:
when - I do most of my work in the afternoon and evening. I may also do a few hours on Saturdays, Sundays, and holidays. I rarely work in the morning, and schedule all calls to take place late.
where - I usually work at home, but also work outside (libraries, in my car while waiting for kids' activities to end, etc.). I do take my laptop with me on vacation just to keep things going. A few times I have done longer stints abroad, working FT but enjoying life in another country.
what - I choose what to work on, new projects to launch, and what can languish. If something is not generating revenue or is too troublesome, I will make adjustments accordingly (killing project, hiring a contractor to maintain it).
how - No one tells me how to get the work done. That's my call. Increasingly, I have been outsourcing things I don't like to do or don't do so well.
One other thing: I have set up a monthly payroll, so I get paid regardless of how much or how little I do. That is, there is no "unpaid vacation."
I have operated my own business for 7 years.
How does your family tolerate you basically spending no time with them? I can't imagine that you have a healthy relationship with them.
For me, it's the opposite: my time is precious, and if I'm going to be spending it in the service of others, I need to be well-compensated for it. And even then, there are limits.
> I'm not gonna lose only vacation expenses
By framing spending on recreation as a "loss", you have foreclosed your mind from even thinking about it rationally. Recreation is essential to man's life.
> also similar amount in lost income for every day I would not work.
Again, you are framing the issue in terms of loss. Money you don't make while on vacation is not lost income--it is not a thing you have that you lose. It is merely unearned.
> unpaid vacation
There really is no such thing as "paid vacation". Vacations are never paid for anyone. Some people have "holiday pay" or "PTO" or "vacation hours" or "sick hours", but those are all misnamed--they are earned from working and are factored into total compensation (all benefits are paid for by the employee's wages; greater benefits mean lesser wages).
> As I see it now I will give family vacation, meaning wife and children can enjoy different place (beach) and I will work from hotel room, possibly finding few free hours in early morning or late afternoon and free weekend.
Why do you think you are unworthy of vacation, that it is something to only be given to others? And, in practical terms, your plan will almost certainly lead to resentment and regret between you, your spouse, and your children. You will be thinking of the experience as a loss and sacrifice, your partner will feel lonely (the purpose of vacation is to recreation and rejuvenation of oneself and one's relationships), and you will miss out on shared unusual experiences with your kids.
The first question isn't how to justify a vacation or what kind of vacation to take. The first question is: Why do you want to take a vacation?
As the situation stands, you would be happy with less money for less time -- that means that you might be in a position to hire an employee to do some of the work for you.
1. Getting better at work. I do things x10 faster and better than when I started. That releases me of spending more hour. 2. Be pragmatic with the solutions. 3. I don't accept any job that is not well defined. 4. I do allocate time for me: gym, bycicle, etc.
Taking your holidays shouldn't be a problem. Talk to the partner company and mention the European holidays.
There are different ways to do this, the honest one is telling upfront.
If your partner is not understanding, mention that you are going to work only from a co-working space, because of trouble working from home.
The co-working space isn't open on European holidays.
If all else fails, change endeavours. You are in Europe, not China. Plenty of IT-jobs here who respect work/family.
Ps. The elephant in the room is not finding work, it's for your partner company to find trustworthy/skillful contractors.
Frankly, the circumstances are irrelevant. There isn't a set of circumstances that makes you not a human being with a right to leisure time, and a need for leisure time.
You don't need to justify this. It's an inherent human right and need, and everyone knows that. If they claim some other reasoning outweighs that, they're screwing you over, and there isn't a reason for you to tolerate it. You have the power to not tolerate it. They can't make you work, so don't. There are other clients.
Ultimately, this isn't actually a choice you have. What you're doing isn't sustainable. If you don't take time for yourself, you'll eventually have a burnout and that time will be taken for you, in a much more unpleasant way. It's better to acknowledge facts and take the time for yourself before it's taken for you.
Besides, why are you working anyway? I don't work for the sake of work, I work so I can do what I love doing. It sounds like you'd like to spend more time with your family. If your work doesn't support that, find work that does.
Frankly, I've worked with people like this, and even after I set proper boundaries, I'm constantly having to defend them, which I don't want to do. I've found it a lot more pleasant to work with clients who don't have boundary issues.
When I contracted, I set my rates and anticipated annual hours to include (1) holidays (2) vacations (3) a bit of sick time (4) un-paid work (like finding new clients). I could always make more by working more, but I didn't want to.
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It's really no different that a salaried job. I could take "vacation" from a salary job to work on a side-gig, but I don't because that would be exhausting.
Budget for money, budget for time off, take the time off.
You have been working for years and you deserve a vacation. But first answer what is making you chase the money. If you already have 3 years of expenses/outgoing backup (without inflation) - you are worrying too much. It might last 2 years with expenses, any inflation and leisure trips. If you do not have 6 months of backup, evaluate your financial situation, set a target date for a vacation and take a break anyways.
Second, why do you think you could be potentially replaced by competition? Is it that easy to replace you? It may not be as easy as you think. Try hiring for at least 80% of your capacity and you will know. If it is easier to replace you then the better option is to become a company/agency, hire people and expand your agency's capacity.
Third, if you take all projects that come your way - either your rates are too cheap and you need to increase - or you are exceptionally talented. In the latter case, demand for you will not die if you take a short vacation and/or defer some work. Don't plan for a long vacation like month or two, because it turns out to be boring and less fulfilling beyond 10-14 days.
With family, you might want to try out vacations at nonseasonal times if that works with the family.
When you do not take a vacation - you and your family will end up frustrated with any amount of money you bring in via that work. You might end up hating work at some point and will end up with some stupid decision.
Obviously, you need to discuss this with your employer (I call them 'employer' because they are your only gig and full-time). I doubt they expect you to never take any time off, so it shouldn't come as a surprise and they should respond rationally if you approach it with no immediate deadline. For example: "sometime in the next few months I'd like to schedule some time off and I want to work with you to ensure minimal disruption to the business." If you are willing and it would be helpful to them, you can offer to check email once a day while on vacation for any urgent blocking issues.
You mentioned being worried about competition usurping your work if you take time off. It's unclear if you're doing work where there are instant drop-in identical replacements to you readily available. Since you're wall-to-wall busy with work it seems that your role is important and you mentioned that you'd take less money for less work, so you're pretty well-paid. I guess I don't understand because roles for which there are instant drop-in identical replacements aren't usually high earning. If what you do is so mission-critical that they'll have to replace you with another contractor if you're unavailable for a scheduled-in-advance week, then it's likely you have job-specific knowledge and skills that can't be easily replaced by a new contractor in a week. Which is why they should be willing to work with you to coordinate your vacation and minimize disruption.
I worked for a company that just before I joined turned down what looked like a jackpot. Millions, possibly tens of millions in revenue.
The reason, it was too much work for their team, and despite the bags of money being offered it wasn't clear the company offering the business were quite on the ball, something was off and they said no.
Another small company said yes. They got a windfall of cash, grew...6 months in and they were a big success story...and in 18 months had lost their past customers because they knew they had been put on the back burner, their own people quit because they were working like you are, and the client was endlessly upset because of unrealistic expectations and a real power imbalance in terms of setting goals and realistic planning was out the window.
In short if you can't take vacation...you need better client(s).
When you bill by the hour, it's natural to start thinking of everything in terms of lost time and money. And I actually think it's reasonable to think about the cost of taking time off, but if this is keeping you from taking vacation and spending time with your family, then you are severely undervaluing your time off. You can think of time off as a sort of cost, but it's a very small cost compared to the value it provides.
I don't have experience with working for customers in different cultures and across international borders, so I'm afraid I don't have any insight there. If I was in that situation, I think it would still come down to negotiating the vacation that I need.
I also don't have much experience with juggling several (>2) projects at once. In my experience, people seldom need just a little software engineering. If someone wants some software engineering, they usually want a LOT of it and don't want to compete for your time with other projects. So I tend to work on one project at a time, take vacations, and when the gig comes to an end, I look forward to taking a few months off to study.
So I suppose if I was in your shoes, I would insist on vacation, and not worry too much if I lost a customer that wanted to burn me out. (I acknowledge that working in the software industry puts me in a rather privileged position where I can be picky.)
Sounds like you are being consumed by greed and fear.
I think that's the key: afraid.
Having too much work is actually a good thing! It means that you can afford to increase your prices. Then use that extra money and go on holiday.
I am not kidding by pasting `much` so many times, please try to look this from a completely different angle: kids really need actual attention from their parents and all those "vacation but daddy works in the hotel room all the time" are painful .. I am saying it as a guy who also has problems with working in free time ..
You don't have to "justify" this to your clients, you have options, please try to look at things differently(and they're not guilty,
Why? Because your disaster recovery plan hasn't been tested. Thats a significant risk.
That and your work/life balance is probably broken as well.
You’re not self employed in that sense. You’re quasi employed, but without any of the protections of being an employee.
The only positive thing you said about this arrangement is you had downtime. But now you’ve lost that, and work more hours, and yet are still not earning enough to take time off.
Why, exactly, are you doing this? You only have one life. There must be alternatives.
If you’re close to 100% and not burned out, when working, you’ll thrive.
I only learned this 12 years in. I’m on year 16 now.
Also, taking breaks can feel uncomfortable if your not used to the feeling of freedom, start small and work your way up to taking longer breaks. You will find the rest will make you more valuable as you’ll likely be more effective if you’re rested.
Work/life balance is important. We can only go so long before our quality of work begins to suffer, along with our mental health.
Seek out more clients, raise your rates, and sub-contract the more menial/unpleasant parts of what you do, would be the ways I would look at addressing this.
As far as I'm concerned, the point where making more money doesn't increase your quality of life but reduces it is where it needs to stop and you look well past it. The point of self employment is not having to justify your life style, including vacations.
If I were you I'd look for a different employer or rework my business and split my time between a number of them.
Call it professional development or whatever you need to. Build your rate card around that timeframe. If that’s not acceptable, you need to think about what you want and work towards that.
If your spouse and kids wish to vacation, send them on their way. Given your information above, they should have ample funds to fritter away their useless time. To each their own. If you travel with them, great. Have a nice dinner and perhaps go dancing after your long day.