HACKER Q&A
📣 throwaway_yc

What are some resources to improve speaking skills?


I get nervous very easily and my heart starts throbbing when it comes to speak to anyone. It is affecting my career. How can I fix it?

What are the resources to improve speaking skill?


  👤 the_watcher Accepted Answer ✓
There's a reason Toastmasters is so recommended in this thread: it's really good at what it is, so try that out.

For other options, try speaking a lot more in low pressure situations. At work, try small groups to start. Ask your manager if you can lead a team meeting where the agenda is defined, and your role is just to facilitate discussion. Present your work to 3 teammates and ask them to hold questions until the end.

In your personal life, if you are a regular at a coffee shop or lunch place and see the same person repeatedly, learn their name, then ask them how they are doing whenever you see them. Try to actually answer with something specific when people ask how you are doing. If you have kids or access to them (young relatives), try reading out loud to them. Join a writing seminar that asks you to read your work out loud.

The above are just a laundry list of ideas, the point is basically "find low pressure environments to speak, do it as often as possible, vary the scenarios."


👤 RandomBacon
Toastmasters is great.

The meetings are structured with an agenda, the toastmaster for the meeting makes sure the agenda is followed and stays on topic.

They've made the program more dynamic. I don't know the new details very well and not sure how I feel about it. It used to be everyone received a workbook on how to deliver ten short speeches about varrying topics, but now you can customize it and I think they use an online website/program to keep track of that.

Everything at a meeting is always explained to everyone, and everyone I've met at Toastmasters meetings have been very nice.

You can use the website (https://www.toastmasters.org) to find a meeting near you and usually just drop in, but it's always polite to give them a head's up that you'll be visiting.


👤 achenatx
I was a disaster at speaking until I was in grad school and had to teach classes (6+ hours/week). At some point you get enough volume and it becomes no big deal. You start focusing on trying to educate or amuse your audience and are no longer nervous. The key is to get enough practice. Toastmasters is one way to get started, but nothing beats the volume you get by signing up to teach a class several times a week.

👤 khazhou
I would suggest, if this is at phobia-level for you, it's worth thinking about why you're getting so nervous.

I went from enjoying public speaking to absolutely dreading it (feeling like I'm falling off a cliff, trembling voice, sudden drops in blood pressure leading to complete loss of train-of-thought). This was literally career-limiting, and I could see how I was being excluded from projects that would require presenting to VPs + execs.

I spent a lot of time reflecting on it, and realized what had happened was that I had taken over management of a failing project, and I wasn't turning it around. Our VP was extremely harsh, and drew out everyone's professional failures/limitations. But I realized that my sudden and complete inability to present, was linked to me "knowing" that my work sucked, or knowing that no matter what I said, it was gonna end badly with me looking like an idiot.

So I would suggest you might think about whether the public-speaking nervousness also happens when you're asked to present something you're happy, proud, and knowledgable about, or whether it's connected to insecurity in your work, project, or your own mastery of the material you're presenting.


👤 m1nes
I talk for a living. It takes time to improve. Some quick and dirty tips (sorry, english not my first language):

- Relax and meditate

- Practice a LOT. Everyday. Even two minutes helps.

- Learn to breath properly

- Record yourself speaking aloud at home with your phone. Make notice of all the nuances of the voice

- Prepare your material very well

- Visualize you are explaining the stuff to a friend at home. It will help you sound more natural.

Getting nervous is normal and part of the game.


👤 FillardMillmore
Some have mentioned this, but it's true: jump at every opportunity you have to do any kind of public speaking gig - whether it's a 10 minute thing or a 2 hour thing.

This is what I've done - and though the first time is incredibly nerve-wracking, especially if it's a longer presentation, it only gets easier from that point on. But you do want to make sure that you know your material very well - the goal is to be as knowledgeable as possible of the topic on which you are speaking. Be prepared for questions.

Personally, I've found that presenting the topic to a friend or family beforehand helps immensely. Writing and reading your PowerPoint (or equivalent) is one thing, but learning how to transition naturally from point-to-point and from slide-to-slide is something else entirely. You'll also find, while presenting, mistakes that you didn't notice simply by reading through it and you can correct those mistakes before they serve to embarrass you publicly.

I recommend staying away from coffee before presentations and instead, drink an herbal caffeine-free tea to calm your nerves (chamomile works wonders for me).


👤 nscalf
I was not a very good public speaker (or general communicator), and it would make me feel uncomfortable having to have some normal conversations like ordering food. Nothing too severe, it didn't really interfere with my life, but it bothered me that it wasn't a very easy thing for me even though it was a daily part of my life. I think the most impactful way that I have improved this is sort of different from what a lot of people have recommended: Ask strangers how their day is going.

You're ordering a coffee? Well that barista has had a day, and you should ask them about it! It takes them a few seconds to ring you up, "I'll have a medium coffee, black, thanks! How has your day been?" People are usually very happy to be asked how their day is going, and you get the chance to practice small talk. After a while it feels natural, and you cheer up most of the people you interact with.


👤 marviel
If you can find a supportive local improv troupe, that allows you to take classes, or has open "Jams" -- I would HIGHLY recommend taking said classes, or attending such jams. Learning how to perform improv (particularly, longform improv) has taught me a difficult-to-exhaustively-enumerate set of skills that are not limited to public speaking, such as:

- Focused Observation / Listening (insanely important, this)

- Ability to Deal with the Unexpected

- Empathy / Emotional Intelligence

- Negotiation (If you've played being on both sides of the table, you know what the other side wants)

- Cooperation

- Banter

- Storytelling

- Emotional Endurance

- Interpersonal Relationship Creation and Maintenance

- ...

In addition to these skills, I've also found myself a lot happier, being able to engage in a creative activity within a supportive community which offers something completely novel each time I attend.

When I moved cities, I started a new improv troupe in that city, because it means that much to me.

Check it out. :)


👤 smars1245
Propranolol (beta blocker) will help. It shuts down the fight or flight mechanism in your brain. It calms your voice, your heartbeat and your nerves. It's really amazing...

https://www.consumerreports.org/cro/2012/04/can-you-treat-st...

I pop 4-5 of this 1 hour before a big meeting or presentation. I've also used them at private gatherings when I'm speaking in front of a larger group. Works really well. Tell your DR about your public speaking fears and he/she will more than likely prescribe you a beta-blocker.


👤 DoreenMichele
If you have any health issues, tend to those. Anxiety can be a side effect of things like blood sugar issues. Being physically healthier can help reduce the incidence of anxiety attacks.

It's generally useful to wonder what other people want or need. Most people spend a lot of their time in social settings worried about being judged by others, hurt in some way, etc.

If you are focused on putting others at ease, things will go smoother and then this success will help calm your nervousness and can lead to a positive feedback loop that goes good places.

I can be a ball of nerves, but other people have told me I don't look it. I have been told that's surprising news because I seem so calm.

That's probably in large part because I'm aware that my subjective experience of the thing and my performance aren't necessarily directly related and the important piece is performance.

(This comment is not comprehensive. I'm just hoping to add new thoughts not already covered by other comments.)


👤 sixhobbits
I got a 2 month gig lecturing basic CS after finishing my degree. It was a pretty transformative experience - the first two lectures were among the worst experiences of my life! Panic in front of 200 people. After that it was fine.

Since then volunteered recently to speak at tech meetups, etc. Organizers are usually very happy to find more speakers! Still get the heart rate increase, sweaty palms, etc but apparently it no longer affects my speaking :)


👤 omarhaneef
This is easy:

1. Prepare

2. Practice

- Toastmasters (or similar group) is a good way to practice

- Meetup groups will ask for speakers if toastmasters is not available

- You could also record yourself, and revise


👤 __blockcipher__
This doesn't actually answer your question as far as a pointer to resources, but here's some tips:

- Take a breath before you begin speaking. Often I'd find that I'd start speaking too quickly and my voice wasn't "ready" which ends up making you sound squeaky or out of breath or just generally flustered. This tip also helps a bit with the tendency to speak way too fast.

- If you have room to move around, don't be afraid to walk back and forth across the stage/platform/front of the room etc. Don't over-do it, but I find it's way easier for me to speak while I'm moving.

- At least for myself, I've found that moments where I feel like I really stumbled over my words, or spoke too quietly/loudly, or "forgot a line", actually end up being very noticeable when I later watch the video recordings.

- Public speaking is very opinionated and some people have some pretty pedantic rules. For example toastmasters is really aggressive about chiding you for using the word "umm". Now there's perhaps some truth to it - the role of a word like "umm" is to indicate that your brain is searching for what to say but still produce sound thus "holding your space" (so that no-one else cuts in), so in one sense I get why it's recommended against because when giving a talk there's no risk of someone cutting into you; your audience is captive (usually). However in another sense, "umm"-ing helps keep a certain rhythm/tempo to your speech which can actually help keep things smooth when you're searching for what to say.

Similar to the above, virtually every "rule" of public speech can be broken if you have the fundamental principles right. Barack Obama says "uhh" quite frequently, yet most people consider him charismatic. You could certainly argue that he's charismatic in spite of saying "uhh" rather than because of it, but in any case just remember not to miss the forest for the trees. Follow the principles - measured speech, don't be afraid to use space, try to talk more or less naturally - and you'll be a great public speaker.

Lastly, public speaking is a skill. It takes practice. If you can find a room to yourself, practice giving a talk a bunch, and make sure to record yourself. You'll likely be very surprised in the difference between your perception of yourself and how you actually come off, and having recorded videos is a great way to identify any tics/odd habits you have that you might want to work on.


👤 efm
Patrick Winston of MIT gave a good series of lectures on how to give a presentation: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9F536001A3C605FC His explanation of why writing things on a board and slow pacing is helpful for your audience made sense to me.

👤 someguy12133
The reality is that speaking is a physical skill similar to any over physical activity. How do you get better at riding a bike? You ride it a lot. How do you get better at speaking? You speak a lot. Verbal communication is something I long struggled with and I used to look for all kinds of solutions but then, one day, I decided I was going to start talking into a microphone and record myself talking about whatever topic I wanted to talk about. In my day job I work at home and rarely talk to anyone, at the time I used to also live alone in a suburb area way on the edge of my city, basically I was pretty isolated and already a bit depressed so my daily opportunities to talk to others weren't very many.

At first, trying to talk for 10 minutes straight seemed very weird. I realized my mouth would get sore, etc, I would sometimes physically get tired of talking and make mistakes in what I said.

After doing this for about a month though I eventually started getting better at it and even posted some videos on YouTube where I narrated. I was also finding that I had less trouble expressing myself and being understood when talking with other people.

This isn't a cure all and it's not going to solve all anxieties related to public speaking but I really believe it can help most people. Many jobs nowadays don't require much talking and some people can easily get by nowadays with much less verbal communication than they probably is used to so I think this approach is something at least worth considering.

As an aside, this has also led to be developing a much greater appreciation for verbal communication, including music, listening to different accents and I have also been learning a foreign language. This isn't strictly relevant to becoming a better speaker but I feel like my approach eventually opened up a new appreciation for language and communication that was completely lacking from my life before.


👤 mrskitch
Not a big one, but one that I found helped a lot: cutting out the "filler" words ("like", "uh", "so"...). These fill words are used in many place to hold onto the listeners attention, but doing it too much can make your talk non-dynamic, and your audience will stop listening.

We have somewhat primal instincts that make us maintain focus on subtle things like body movement and differences in speech, or even lack thereof. So moving slowly from one spot to another, talking with your hands, and having _gaps_ in your speech will help your audience naturally maintain focus.

Filler words are easy to remove: just practice not saying them when you're having conversations with the clerk at the store or your friends/family. You'd be surprised how effective it is, and how much more polished you'll sound.


👤 clickme_zsh
I used to have anxiety attacks when I was in school, I had stage fright from my child hood, I avoided crowd, never participated in extra curricular activities unless it was forced or mandatory and even then I used to find reasons to skip it. I dreaded that I would stand out and become a laughing stock. But in my 8th grade one of my teachers pushed me to present a lot of projects regularly. At first I tried to find way out of them but slowly I got around the fear bit by bit and Now thankfully I am in a better position when it comes to presentation, talks and general speaking skills. I guess one can confront fear bit by bit and chew through the pain/trauma and build resistance. That's all just wanted to share my experience hope it helps.

👤 Thriptic
I have this problem as well. I have gotten around it in a few ways:

First, practice what you are going to say RIGOROUSLY. You should be able to recite your full speech / pitch / presentation / whatever with no use of visual aids. Basically, you should memorize it. I always assume that I will be ~20% worse while performing than while practicing, so if I can do the whole presentation without visual aids while practicing then the visual aids will be sufficient to save me if I get in trouble while presenting. Most people rely on their visual aids as a huge crutch during practice, and as a result they forget what they want to say and end up staring at their PowerPoint or notecards during the entire presentation as opposed to engaging with the audience. They come off as nervous and unprepared. Further, using your visual aids as a crutch incentivizes creating verbose slides as an insurance mechanism which is why most PowerPoints you see are shit.

Second, realize that public speaking is fundamentally about telling a story. A good story and a good presentation should share the same elements: they should be amusing and engaging (always work in some humor and audience interactions to engage the audience, many of whom probably don't want to be there and will fall asleep otherwise); they should be concise (don't go on tangents); key take aways should be clearly stated and there shouldn't be a data dump; there should be a natural flow and verbal transitions should be employed as if you were speaking to a friend; etc. Finally, know your audience. What do they care about / want to see? What do they already know? How can they be persuaded or amused?

Third, as other posters have mentioned, the only way to get better at this is to practice. Go find opportunities to practice. It only takes a few good presentations to shake the fear of being a bad presenter / acquire the rep of being a good presenter.

Finally, realize that the stakes are pretty low normally. Most of the presentations I sit through are awful (even those from C suite people who basically present for a living) and most people can't speak or convey information well. As such, I rarely remember when people bomb as bad performance is the norm.


👤 dahart
Many years ago in college I was skydiving with an adrenaline junky friend who would sign up for public speaking at any opportunity just to make himself nervous on purpose. He enjoyed the thrill of having his heart start throbbing, and even liked not being very prepared. While I recommend lots of preparation for public speaking, I do really like the idea of embracing being scared of speaking as part of the fun, and I’ve tried to borrow that attitude and make it part of my own personal narrative. I guess it helped because these days I always jump at the chance to give a conference talk.

👤 la_fayette
There is probably no shortcut to that skill. Try to find speaking opportunities on topics you know about, e.g. at meetups. It is better to start in front of a smaller group (10 people), from my experience nervosity is lower when in front of a smaller group. Record your talk and listen to it afterwards in detail and find things you want to improve. Don't hesitate to ask for feedback from others, and don't take it too personel. Try to be objective like you would train for a sports challenge.

Every public talk will improve your skillset a bit, so you need to just do it!


👤 niklearnstodev
This is a tricky one, because there are a few different facets or domains relevant to the topic. Two major ones that immediately come to mind are public speaking and conversational speaking.

I'm very good at conversational speaking, and I think that it mostly comes from listening to a ton of podcasts. This has helped me gain curiosity across a wide range of topics, but has also helped me learn how to dig into those topics via conversation. For this, pick topics you're interested in (perhaps some in fields that you're not fully interested in yet, to broaden your ability to converse across domains!). Also, while listening, look for traits that you admire in conversationalists, and try to practice them when speaking with others (this is a similar approach that can be used to learning anything, really).

As for public speaking, from what I've heard, Toastmasters is as good as it gets. They provide a learning and training environment. Then it's up to you to try it out "in production" (at work, weddings, etc).

Remember that it's a learning experience, and it will only get better with time via analysis, practice, and persistence!


👤 acak
I'll give a shout out to Speeko! (I'm not affiliated with them in any way)

https://speeko.co

A testimonial (also unaffiliated): https://www.speeko.co/blog/beth-tucker-interview


👤 hemmert
This book is, Ole coached me for TEDx - after which my talk was uploaded also to TED.com:

https://www.amazon.de/Agile-Presentation-Design-innovators-p...


👤 linsomniac
A few thoughts, as someone who went from being deathly afraid of talking in front of the class in Junior High School, to presenting well over 100 times:

- Just do it: Find opportunities to talk in front of people. Come up with things you know about, and find meetups or similar, and talk. Part of it is just getting familiar with it.

- Watch other people do it: Find other presentations that have lots of views and/or that you enjoy watching, and figure out what you like about them. Then try to do a similar thing.

- Figure out what you want to say: I've spent a lot of time talking impromptu. The talks I like the most, and the feedback I've gotten, has been refine your message and practice your presentation and pacing. The best talks I've seen really had their message refined.


👤 wrnr
Practice it as much as possible, I stutter and developed selective mutism because of it. Speaking used to agonising to me but in my mid twenties I got cured of my stutter. Don't know how it happened, but one day I realised I hadn't stuttered in months while before I was anxious everytime I had to open my mouth. Now I have a bigger vocabulary than most, in part thanks to my avoidance strategies around certain words.

👤 lcall
There is some good advice in this discussion. My own personal checklist for when I have to give a talk. Not perfect but it helps me: http://lukecall.net/e-9223372036854744342.html

(It is oriented for church but the steps would largely be the same elsewhere.)


👤 wcip
I found this YouTube channel yesterday and it appears helpful: https://www.youtube.com/user/charismaoncommand?itct=CCcQ6p4E...

👤 throw_675876585
Beta-blockers are often used for performance anxiety. They block physical symptoms of anxiety caused by adrenaline. They're safe and cheap. https://patient.info/medicine/propranolol-a-beta-blocker

👤 bradam
Although most of the advices focuses on specific techniques (which is very important to focus on), I want to emphasize something different: diet and lifestyle.

Without sounding too obvious, I can not recommend you enough reducing caffeine and alcohol use (if its a problem) and focusing on sporting regularly.


👤 vnglst
It’s like doing software releases: if it hurts, do it more often.

So accept every opportunity you get to practice.


👤 davio
If your work will pay for it, I've had good results sending people to the Dale Carnegie course.

One of my engineers had almost crippling anxiety speaking in front of even small groups. After the course, she had the confidence to speak up and lead meetings.



👤 ken
An old friend of mine who was very comfortable with speaking told me it was acting that helped him. You get to practice saying someone else's words, until you're ready to use your own.

👤 durnygbur
Read a book loudly. Listen to audiobook or a language course and repeat simultaneously after the lector. Try doing these in different languages. Drink water while doing these.

👤 JoshTriplett
https://speaking.io/ has an extensive set of useful advice.

👤 i00m
I recommend this book: "it's not all about me" - robin dreeke

👤 soapdog
Hi,

I am a part of a program at Mozilla called Mozilla Tech Speakers and we help people to become better public speakers. By your message, I'm guessing that public speaking is not your focus buuuut we do have a lot of resources that might be helpful. You can find them at:

https://wiki.mozilla.org/TechSpeakers#Resources_for_Speakers

If I can give you a couple fly-by tips, I'd say:

* Do not compare yourself with extroverted people. Speaking comes quite easy and naturally for some but that doesn't mean it should be like this for everyone. We're quite unique and what works for one person might not work for others. AS long as you're making progress, you're doing good and you're the only one who can decide what progress look like for you. Don't measure yourself using "other people rulers".

* If you have a group of trusted friends that you could meet (online is fine) regularly, you could do an exercise that helps a lot, more about it at the end of this comment. This exercise is my favorite thing ever and the most useful thing in this comment to be honest.

* Small meetups are a great place to start practicing talking to people. They are low pressure and low stakes. If you want, find a small meetup that you enjoy. Go for a while as a listener until you create some relationships there and feel safe. Then, when you want, try giving a small talk (5 min). It works quite well if there is someone you trust there and you can do this as a pair. Pairing with more experienced people makes talking easier (you both might want to practice together first).

So, back to the exercie and the actual very useful thing in this whole wall of text. It goes like this:

* Find a group of trusted people. I think it needs to be a group of three people for this to be useful, in my mind the ideal group is five people.

* Meet regularly, online or IRL. Whatever regularly means is up to you all.

* Decide on a topic for the meeting before hand. It doesn't need to be tech, but it usually is. It is fun to do themes, for example Halloween topic.

* Prepare a 2 minutes talk about that topic.

* You'll take turns. One person will give their two minutes talk, others will listen.

* Each of the listeners will then give their feedback and this is important because there is a structure to it. The feedback must be one of two kinds. The listener can either talk about what they liked from your talk or what they want to see/hear more about. There is not space for negative comments or criticism. You can only praise something or say what you want to see more about. It is this way so that it creates a safe space. People can talk without the fear of being criticized. It works better than providing "constructive criticism" because instead of prunning what you see as problems, you're steering the person towards what you see as strenghs, this is better for both you and them.

This exercise is done for all the Mozilla Tech Speakers cohorts, we've done this with hundreds of people and the same technique is used by Universities and courses on public speaking. It is a proven thing and has a name, but I forgot the name and anyway the content is more important than the name.

If your fear of speaking is related to potential live feedback from people, you might want to experiment with analog asynchronous forms of getting your opinions and content out like making zines. They can convey the same content but allow you to practice finding a voice, a style, and gain confidence in exposing your own ideas without the fear of live audience.

Hope this helped!


👤 trilinearnz
I'm an effective public speaker and really enjoy it (especially the responses I get afterwards). Here are a few of my tips:

1. Rehearse your presentation enough beforehand (including immediately before in another meeting room if possible) such that you are able to run on auto-pilot after the first few minutes. Can't emphasise how crucial this is.

2. Conduct your presentation so you're speaking naturally about particular points, rather than trying to remember an exact script (the act of trying to remember what you are "supposed" to say may be causing you anxiety). If you have rehearsed enough, and know enough about your subject, it should be possible for you to do this.

3. Recognise that you might need to write a script to begin with, when preparing your presentation. This can help ground you, and gives you something to start from. Once you have rehearsed it a few times, you should start developing a "rhythm" that feels more natural to you, and this is when you can start "winging it" a bit more. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with bringing your script / notes with you on the day. This will give you a feeling of security (you have a backup in case you freeze). By the time the end of the presentation rolls around, you may find you never needed to unfold your notes at all.

4. You will always feel nervous in advance, to some degree. This degree is lessened with lots of prior rehearsal, but it will still be there. Accept it as normal, and don't think that because you're nervous you are destined to fail. After the first few minutes, that's when your "flow" will start kicking in, and things will begin to happen naturally.

5. When developing your presentation, try to empathise as much from the audience's perspective as possible / take a very skeptical view on your material. If you then convey your presentation in this manner, you will easily be able to get your audience on side with you. This helps you get to the "flow" state more quickly than if you are talking at odds to people, and they keep their wall up.

6. Hopefully you are presenting about something that you are interested in or passionate about, or at least know enough about to be confident. Let your energy and confidence out into your presentation style. Don't be afraid to use big gestures, and convey your passion in your voice. Think of it less as a recitation of a script, and more of a powerful and fun experience that your audience is being taken along with. Think of your presentation less in terms of merely conveying dry information, but to "entertain" your audience. Emphasise dramatic flair to create interest from your audience. This comes more easily to some people than others (I have a drama background). People respond really well to this if you can pull it off.

7. Information retention in your audience increases by a lot if you get them to participate in some way. This can be more than just the cliche'd "everyone raise their hand if you have heard of X". If you do this well, and empathise with your audience's reluctance to participate (e.g. say "now I know everybody just loves these audience participation activities! /s"), they can be a really nice break to the monotony of a presentation, and is another tool to get your audience on side with you.

8. The more punchy and interactive things you can do during your presentation to grab your audience's attention, the easier it will be for you. Rather than looking out at a sea of bored faces checking their cellphones, you will see everyone's eyes looking directly at you, and can feel the expectancy in the air. This is a very powerful state to be in, some people refer to it as "holding the audience in the palm of their hand". Good luck!


👤 Digg_mov
duolingo.com

👤 lowken10
I transformed my life by participating in Toastmasters for about a year an a half. Here's the thing, to get good at something you need the following..

* Training * Practice * Feedback * Show up and do it over and over again

Toastmasters provides all four of these ingredients.