35+, married, no kid but may have one this/next year.
Career wise, I'm not completely satisfactory with what I have now (Data analyst). Salary is OK but I prefer more technical work as talking to other people over and over is not my expertise and takes too much of my energy away. Plus the hours is demanding, usually 50 hours per week.
So here is the situation that keeps me from relaxation: I need to learn new skills to transfer to more technical positions, but I'm not sure which one so I kind of spent a lot of time learning skills superficially and never go deep enough to make an impact (on reality or on CV). This brings a lot of anxiety and I simply cannot enjoy a good session of games or watch some movies. Every time I try to play a game or watch a movie, the thought of "you should learn skills instead of wasting time" comes up and fucks up everything.
In summary, being anxious so that I do not have patience on my study or relaxation. I don't even play games anymore, just watch longplays.
I'm wondering how do you guys deal with these emotions?
I’m improving a skill, I have to be focused since I’m dealing with a firearm and most importantly I absolutely must relax AND focus in order to actually shoot accurately.
Occasionally I’ll go on a “members night” when other members at the range will bring rare or automatic (properly licensed) firearms to let others shoot. Some have very cool historical attributes or uniquely engineered features. Many members are also in software dev as well.
1. Find something that sparks your interest; could be anything at all. For example, I constantly read HN, hackaday, etc. when I'm bored.
2. Duplicate it and perfect it. That LED cube you saw on hackaday, that X11 tutorial, that Arduino controlled coffeepot, whatever. These examples belie my interests, but you get the idea. Tip: start with something simple; it's always harder than it looks and in surprising ways.
3. Then wait for the magic. Inexplicably, that new skill you are growing will become surprisingly useful for some completely unpredictable, unconnected activity. Ah, you don't really need an LED cube, but maybe now you know how to make a better baby monitor with that Arduino.
4. Repeat, until you don't have time to be anxious or bored. Eventually, it can grow into a career or a lifelong interest.
Doing something concrete with your hands relieves stress. Learning relieves stress. Having kids puts everything in perspective. These are all positive, constructive things.
Watching TV and gaming, not so much. When I do too much of these, it makes me feel very much as the OP seems to feel.'
Don't learn new skills to progress in your career. Learn them to relax and to grow. Learn to measure yourself by your progress on these self-imposed challenges. And the career will take care of itself.
Take your friends/kids to the beach and jump in the waves.
Just got back into it after a 10+ year absence for almost the exact same reasons as you -- relax, get my mind off shit.
It's stressful as hell (in a good way) but you will clear your mind of everything once you're in the air (no time to think about work when you're trying not to nose dive $1000 into the ground).
oh, and the usual stuff: cooking, riding motorcycles, fishing...